January 24, 2013 by Andee
I think one reason why I can never seem to “get into” blogging, in whatever iteration it currently has for me (and believe you me there have been a few!), is because there are times when I write a post that is just so perfect – it’s exactly what I want to say, it’s everything it needs to be – and the only thing left to do is select pictures (which bogs me down in and of itself)…and then I find that the changes I spent moments here and there making all day yesterday somehow did not save.
Even though I previewed my post multiple times, changes made and all.
I was so proud of how I was able to articulate exactly what I wanted to in a relatively concise post – because while I am typically articulate, I am equally verbose – only to return home from work yesterday and find that, on my home computer, somehow the changes were not saved.
I think anyone who creates anything can understand the despair of having a completely organic, free-flowing experience that is enlightening and inspirational and timely, and that you can’t wait to unveil your creation, only to find it gone. Melodramatic, maybe, but truth all the same. Trying to reimagine the phrases and segues I used is like trying to retain the details of a dream upon waking. There are echoes of what it was, but the more I reach for them, the more they fade away. And I am left knowing that, while I could attempt to rewrite it from scratch, it will never be what it once was.
It makes me want to scrap the whole thing, and simply not bother.
But that isn’t fulfilling, and sharing and becoming part of a community (hopefully, maybe, someday) brings me joy. So I carry on, lesson learned (that being do not edit directly on the Dashboard at work, because the out of date IE we use makes everything wonky and doesn’t relay changes to my FF browser at home).
Maybe one day soon, I’ll resurrect the botched and butchered post that was supposed to be in place of this one. But today is not that day. And that’s ok, because even if this wasn’t what I wanted, it’s still something.